Just a Dream
by Betito
Summary: A few days had passed since that fateful night and now Seras thinks about her French mercenary as she heads for his funeral.Inspired by a Carrie Underwood song, no songfic. SxP pairing


Disclaimer: Alucard is MINEEEEE! My own! My Precious!... Well, no, he's not, and cutting the Gollum style out, neither is anything from Hellsing, they belong to Kouta Hirano.

Also, this fanfic was inspired by Carrie Underwood's song "Just a Dream". And is a PipxSeras, right after the Nazi attack. Can be taken as Prequel of "Your face" or as a standalone.

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She was very, very young. Barely nineteen, a few weeks before turning twenty, but she had already seen much more blood spilled than most people do through their lives.

Seras looked at herself in the standing mirror in the corner of her bedroom. She had to be presentable for them… for him… they were more than worth the effort of looking presentable to give Pip and the Geese the last goodbye.

A nervous crazy cackle escaped her mouth as she remembered a goofy moment she had had with Pip right before Zorin's attack began: "If we make it alive out of this, Mignonette, I swear I'll marry you". Soon her laugh turned into a strangled sob as she fell to her knees, and her simple black dress pooled around her ankles.

If only she'd acted before, if only she'd been braver, if only… if only none of this had happened she might actually be getting to go to her wedding instead of her love's funeral.

She could picture it very well, she'd dreamed of it as a child. All dressed in white, looking like an angel stepped right down from heaven. And following the tradition, she'd wear: something old (her grandmother's hair combs), something new (the pearl earrings she was wearing for the very first time), something borrowed (perhaps a bracelet from a friend), something blue (the heart shaped pendant that hanged from her neck) and a sixpence in her shoe.

But she wasn't a bride. She was a mourning lover.

Her veil wouldn't be waist long, but barely reach her neck, and it would be black, just like her dress, her pantyhose and her shoes.

Seras stood up, still trying to calm herself down, and walked to her vanity. She opened a small drawer to retrieve the two love letters he had given to her and placed them softly in her handbag. She sighted taking a look around to check if nothing had been left forgotten, everything was where it should be, so she only took the small purple bouquet and walked out of the room.

The journey to the place where the funeral would take place was swift and even. She stood along with the crowd for a little while before the service started. Sir Integra was a little apart from the group, yet, even through her stoic façade it was still obvious she was mourning too, for all that had been lost that night.

A young woman, perhaps a few years older than Seras approached the vampire and held out her hand to her. "Hello, you must be Seras; Matt told me about you, that you were Philip's girl"

The blond nodded and looked at the woman; she'd seen her on one of the men's photographs. "So you're Linda. I'm really sorry for Matthew's passing, I really am" she answered.

"Thank you, I too am sorry for Pip's death" Linda answered, as they held each other hands and wept in silence. The very same hurt reflected in both women's eyes.

The church doors opened and people started to enter for the service. Seras put her veil over her eyes, trying to hide her tears and pain from the world, thinking _"This can't be happening"_. It was military funeral, as it should be, but when the band started playing her bouquet just slipped out of her fingers into the floor.

"Why did you leave me here, Pip? Why did you have to go and leave me to suffer?" she whispered. She had expected to share forever with him, have years and years to get to know and love each other. But now that would never happen.

She gasped for the air she didn't need, but she still used out of habit and to steady herself. It was life she'd been taken out of reality, like she was watching some really sad movie she just couldn't turn off.

But it was true, and she would never see Pip again, just like Linda wouldn't see Matt, and neither would see any of the Wild Geese again.

"This can't be happening; it's a nightmare, nothing more, just a dream" she whispered once more, cleaning her tears away with her gloves.

Seras listened to the priest with her head bowed, following his pray for the souls of the men that had died, and asking God for the strength they would need to overcome their deaths.

The anthems were sang by the people and to the blond vampire it was like the notes had become a fist closing around her heart, making her tears fall faster than before. It was a melody that she was sure would have forever with her.

After the mass was over, Sir Hellsing gave her condolences personally to the families as they exited the church and handed them the flags that had been covering the coffins, perfectly folded. Linda exited and the look she gave Integra was nothing if not pity, but none of the women said anything that wasn't necessary.

Seras was the last one to approach her mistress.

"I think this belongs to you" the knight told her, handling her Pip's flag and staring solemnly at her. Seras ran her fingers through his embroidered name on the white border of the British flag "Philip Bernadotte".

"Shouldn't this be sent to his family?" the vampire asked.

"He had no family, and I'm sure he would have wanted **you** to have it" Integra stated. Seras held the flag to her heart, as she would've want to hold him against her. "Thank you, Sir Integra"

"Do you miss Master?" the question had escaped her lips before she even reasoned it. The woman seemed a little taken aback but still she answered. "Very much, but I know that we're not getting rid of him that easily. A bad weed never dies."

They approached the crowd for the goodbye shot and as the sound rang in her fingers she couldn't help but feeling the bullets had not been aimed to the distance, but to her heart.

After the obligatory farewells and condolences both women returned to the manor that had seen so many tragedies not so long ago. It was about to strike midnight and Seras knew there would still be work to be done.

"I'll go get ready to leave now, Sir Hellsing" Seras informed before heading for the basement.

"Forget it, it has been a long enough night for both of us, you need rest, and so do I. Tomorrow we'll handle everything that needs to be handled" Integra told her, before disappearing up the stairs.

Seras just sighted, admitting that her Mistress was right, and headed for her bedroom. Right now she only wanted to curl up in her coffin and cry.

And, as she did just that, she prayed that when waked up tomorrow night everything would turn up to be nothing but a nightmare. Just a dream.

She'd see Pip and his men, and then she'd walk straight to him and kiss him. They'd have forever and ever to know each other.

He wasn't death, she'd just dreamed it.

Yet, she knew that such forever was none existent and she would never know it. He wouldn't be there when she opened her eyes again.

"This can't be happening to me" she howled painfully, looking at their picture hanging framed on the wall. "This is just a dream"

But it wasn't….

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So… tell me what you think.

Was it good? Bad? Or what? Please review


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